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Sep. 20th, 2005 | 09:45 pm
mood: curiouscurious
music: none


Damn...this guy is so hott.  I ran across this in the International Press on the site for VonDutch.  *drools*

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終わり (Owari)

Sep. 10th, 2005 | 08:20 pm
mood: depresseddepressed
music: none

...*sigh*...me and my damned Japanese titles. This one is "Owari" which means "the end" or an ending. Well, I guess it finally happened. Kevin and I are no longer a couple. We are going to stay as is and continue to live together but our romantic relationship is no more. Wow, we only made it 7mos. In my opinion, that's really sad. Two people that love each so much but can't get past other things make it longer than the other people you've been in relationships with that weren't so perfect, but I suppose it's for the better. It's a really long story as to how it happened and what all is going on but I guess I will try my hardest to explain to everyone. Well, if I had been updating like I should be doing...everyone would know all the shit that has been going on but that's my fault and I apologize. We moved to Ypsilanti about 2mos ago and I haven't found a job yet. I quit my other job to move here. It has really been stressing Kevin out b/c he is the only one working and bringing in money. Fine, I completely understand that and I feel that he has every right in the world to be having those emotions but he just keeps ragging me about it and says he can't understand how after this long...I don't have a job. Mind you, I've been on the bus every single day (minus a few) going to Ann Arbor and other places trying to find work. One day, I just walked down through the town and pretty much stopped at every place. I've had several interviews but no return calls and when I try to call them, they just give me the run-around basically. So, this has been stressing him for some time now and then last night he went over to his friend Gideon's house to see if he was okay b/c Gid's mother just died of cancer. I talked to him on the phone several times and he seemed absolutely fine. However, when he finally arrived at home, it was a completely different story. He came in and never really said anything much to me and then ate dinner alone (we had already eaten) while I told him that I was going to take a shower. I invited him in there with me, even if it was just to sit and talk. Usually, if one of us is in the shower and the other one is home as well...we'll at least talk to each other or even hop in together. He never showed up, so after my shower I went into our room to change and what-not and I laid on the bed to read a book. He proceeded to come in the room as well and he got on the computer and did his thing, once again, without really saying anything to me. He just asked if I had talked to my mom and what I did that day and I asked him about his day at work. That was about it. After a little bit, he laid on the bed with me and I rubbed his back but still with no comments from him. He got up and started to put on his socks, shoes, and hat and says "aren't you going anywhere?" and I'm like "I wasn't really planning on it b/c I was just gonna spend the night with you and I didn't know that I should or was supposed to be going anywhere...why?". He just left the room and got the bag cooler and put a bunch of beer in it. See, he purchased a 30pack of beer on his way home, yet he's so worried about money. Anyway, then he came back into the room and was like "well, I'm going across the street to Brent's house so I'll be around" and went to walk out the door. I stopped him and made him give me a kiss and told him bye and all that good mooshy stuff. He just looked at me with this empty look in his eyes and I finally came out with it and said "why are you mad at me babe?" and his answer was "well, I just got a $600 paycheck today and it's pretty much already gone b/c I had to catch up on the rent and pay back the people that I owed money to. I'm a little aggravated that I'm the only one working and I'm supporting the both of us." Now, I can totally understand that and like I said...he has ever right to be feeling that way and that's fine. He kissed me on the forehead and headed out the door. He never returned and didn't come home the following morning. Lynn and I left and went out and he finally called me at like 1:30 to say that he was sorry b/c he didn't mean to not come home. He was drunk and passed out over at Brent's and whatever. That's fine too but he never called or anything and I was worried. Well, upon arriving home...we had our talk. We just pretty much laid on our bed and cuddled and looked into each other's eyes, talking about how much we cared about each other. I love that boy so much. It was so comforting to be lying there with him and talking but then it got to the relationship part and it was more so him but I guess it was kinda mutual. We broke up. He said that he cares about me a lot and that no one has ever treated him as well as I have and that he's never liked someone more than me but it just got to a point where the relationship was more for me than for him (whatever that means) and that he's just not ready for it yet. He says that he has a lot of issues that he needs to work on before he tries to have a relationship with someone else and that he's just tired of putting so much into it and tired of doing the "relationship thing". So, I guess that's that. After we talked, we had amazing sex and I'm not sure where we stand there. I'm sure we'll be messing around. I even mentioned that maybe in our friendship, I'd be able to give him the 3some he's always wanted and that excited him. He laid down on the bed and asked me to lay with him and take a nap. I laid with him for a bit but I couldn't fall to sleep and I was bored so I got online to do this and to call some people. He's still sleeping and I don't have to wake him up for another hour. I guess I'm going outside now to talk on the phone some more and get it all out but honestly...it hasn't even hit me yet. Give me a day or 2 and I will be crying and depressed. He promised he'd be there for me though. I'm just hoping that he finally realizes what he has and wants to keep it. Everyone, keep me in your prayers. Love ya all.



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astrological sign test

Sep. 9th, 2005 | 11:09 pm
mood: hornyhorny
music: porn

You are 87% Aries

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Sep. 9th, 2005 | 02:42 pm
mood: crappycrappy
music: "Duvet" -- boa (not BoA)


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cigarette smoke drifting upward

Sep. 8th, 2005 | 11:20 pm
mood: crazycrazy
music: "Cage" -- Dir En Grey

hey hey hey to all you faggot-motherfuckers out there. I promised you idiots that I'd try to keep my journal updated and here I am...doing just that. It's about bedtime for me thought b/c I don't really stay up late anymore. Today was pretty eventless. I went with Kevin's mom to get a new bridge card issued for her b/c it was lost and then we went grocery shopping. That's about the extent of my day. Upon arriving home, I was greeted by bad news in the form of a stupid, cheap-ass "postcard" in the mail from Urban Outfitters. They were pretty much denying me for employment and it reads:

Dear Applicant,

RE: Application for Employment

We are in receipt of your application for employment with Urban Outfitters, Inc.

While your skills and experience are impressive, we have chosen an applicant who more closely meets the needs of the business. However, we would like to keep your application on file and should other suitable positions arise in the future, we will contact you.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in Urban Outfitters, Inc., and pass our best wishes for a successful job search.

How fuckin' retarded. I mean, I guess it's cool that they at least let me know something and I am okay with the fact that I'm not 'qualified' or whatever with the job but that was a pussy-ass way of telling me to fuck off. I'm sure the same exact wording is used for everyone that they don't hire. I like how they were trying to make me feel special or something. I mean...c'mon...if I were really that impressive, wouldn't they have hired my ass? haha. Anyway, I guess I'll stop bitching about it. I wanna work at WizzyWig anyway. That's a really cool Japanese store. It's awesome~! It has like everything Japanese that you could ever think of. *picks up the cigarette and puffs for a second* I just really feel as if I'm letting Kevin down or something. It really sux but I'm sure that I will bitch about that in a later update as I don't really have the energy to do so and he is right behind me, on our bed anyway so yeah.

My mom and her stupid, fucking controlling, asshole husband are FINALLY getting a divorce but it's starting to get really nasty and he's trying to take everything. I'm not going to go into detail but if anyone would like to be kind enough to pray or send light or good thoughts or whatever, I'd (as well as my mother) would highly appreciate it. It seems like it's gonna be a long struggle. *nods* yes yes indeed.

SAIYA: Your pics of your dolls are so cute but aren't you taking it a little too far? :p JK I guess if you paid $800/doll, I'd be treating them like real people as well. Oh well, to each their own. Go on girl...DO YO' THING~!!! haha

Well, I suppose that is enough for now. I love you all and I hope everyone has a good night/next day. *muah*

joshu yori

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Purity Test Results

Sep. 8th, 2005 | 11:01 am

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
When I think about you - or anyone - I touch myself
It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive 65.8%
A fool for love, but not always
Knows the other body type like a map
Gayness 0%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
Fucking Sick75.2%
Refreshingly normal
You are 47.06% pure
Average Score: 72.6%

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Sep. 8th, 2005 | 01:55 am
mood: lethargiclethargic
music: "Mienai Yume" -- Porno Graffitti

Just for all you peeps that don't speak Japanese..."tadaima" is a term used upon returning home or coming back from somewhere. I was just online reading Saiya's latest entry and decided that I should do a quick update on my journal as well. I don't really have anything important to say but if anyone still reads/watches this...leave me a reply. I promise I'll try to update more often. So, today I joined three meetup groups. The ones I joined are Japanese Language, Meditation, and Witches. I can't wait to go to my first meetings. The next Japanese meeting is at my favorite Japanese restaurant Yotsuba on Oct. 5th.

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May. 18th, 2004 | 04:28 pm
mood: cheerfulcheerful
music: Ayumi Hamasaki - Ourselves

A convo between me and Mikey today...lol

Crosshroomhead: yo yo yo
XJapxXxFreakX: yo, what's up dawg? :-P
Crosshroomhead: hah, how are you doin?
XJapxXxFreakX: I'm good hun...how about you>
Crosshroomhead: i'm doing pretty good...better on the sickness
Crosshroomhead: how's the job?
XJapxXxFreakX: good good
Crosshroomhead: good
Crosshroomhead: hows the wife and kids?
XJapxXxFreakX: they are good
Crosshroomhead: lol
XJapxXxFreakX: Johnny skinned his knee yesterday
XJapxXxFreakX: he's so wild
Crosshroomhead: awww poor guy
XJapxXxFreakX: yeah, and Sarah is playing with her dolls right now
Crosshroomhead: i'm telling you, when they're that young you need to give em knee pads when they go outside
XJapxXxFreakX: yes yes
XJapxXxFreakX: he likes to climb trees...he fell
XJapxXxFreakX: boys...I swear
XJapxXxFreakX: lol
Crosshroomhead: lol
Crosshroomhead: it'd be alot safer if you had him play dolls with sarah
XJapxXxFreakX: hell no...my son ain't turning out to be a flaming homo
XJapxXxFreakX: haha
Crosshroomhead: lmao
Crosshroomhead: yes, good call. send him out with the other boys to do something manly
Crosshroomhead: like, kill frogs
Crosshroomhead: or catch snakes
XJapxXxFreakX: yes
XJapxXxFreakX: lol
Crosshroomhead: haha
XJapxXxFreakX: he makes me proud
Crosshroomhead: well, he wouldn't've last night
Crosshroomhead: i saw him playing with your wifes make-up when i went upstairs to use the restroom
XJapxXxFreakX: LMAO~!
Crosshroomhead: i would've told you then...but i was afraid of how you'd react
XJapxXxFreakX: we are so stupid...hahaha
Crosshroomhead: lol
Crosshroomhead: yeah
Crosshroomhead: agreeed

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RIP Ritsuko

May. 18th, 2004 | 04:50 am
mood: crushedcrushed
music: Ritsuko Okazaki - Friendship

May she rest in peace

Ritsuko Okazaki (1959-2004)

I was gonna put something in my journal earlier about this but yeah...Anyway, I really liked her and she was a good singer...

Singer-composer Ritsuko Okazaki died on May 5th from sepsis shock, which results from a bloodstream infection. She was only 44 years old. Ms. Okazaki was responsible for writing theme songs for many anime shows including "Love Hina," "Fruits Basket," and "UFO Princess Walkure," as well as songs for such famed voice actresses as Megumi Hayashibara, Yui Horie, and Kikuko Inoue. "Fruits Basket" theme is considered among the best anime songs ever written. As a performer, she formed the band Melocure with Megumi Hinata. Together, they did the main theme song for "Stratos 4."

In addition to writing and performing great songs, she wrote lyrics, and arranged her own songs as well. For Yui Horie's album "Rakuen," she wrote four tracks; "Clover," "A Girl in Love," "Kokoro Harete Yoru mo Harete ," and "Egao no Rensa." In "Symphonic Rain Vocal Album - Rainbow," voice actresses Hiroko Kasahara, Mai Nakahara, Masumi Asano and Fumiko Orikasa performed vocals on songs penned (both music and lyrics) by Okazaki. Her new album was slated for June 23 release. At this time, its release has been postponed with no new release date given. It was to include her own interpretation of "Rainbow," and two additional new songs. Hopefully, the album will be completed by her production crew and be released sometime in the near future so that her literal swan song could be heard by all those who had admired her talent.

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beautiful day

May. 16th, 2004 | 05:44 pm
mood: sleepysleepy
music: Ayumi Hamasaki -- HANABI ~episode II~

I decided to write (FINALLY). I just got home from work. I was supposed to be out at 8 but I got to leave at like 5:30. Yayness. I always feel bad about leaving Jessi there though. Oh well, she's doing pretty good anyway.

Today, it is soooooo beautiful outside~! I love it. Missy is sleeping right now but as soon as her ass wakes up we are going rollerblading. As we haven't been in like 400 years. We are getting fat. okay, not really but yeah. You know how it is. I'm excited though b/c when we registered for summer classes the other day, we also both registered for a fitness class. You have to go to like an hour long orientation first, then you go to the school's gym and workout whenever you want to. I'm so looking forward to it. I really wanna be able to exercise properly and what-not. Hopefully, I'll get some buffness going on or at least get more muscular.

Last night, Missy and I went to a comedy show at the Comedy Zone in EL and it was soooo fucking hilarious. We'd never heard of the guy but he was great. (www.michaelmack.net) <~~~There's his site. I don't know if it is any good though but he was awesome.

Well, I'm dumb and I don't know what to write but if I think of something, I'll add it later. meh.

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